Happy Halloween: Shit That Actually Scares Me

Happy Halloween, WITCHES!

See what I did there?

Halloween was never exactly my favorite holiday. I'm very into the candy aspect (going door to door asking strangers for food? I'm down), but I'm not such a horror fan. And then I got to thinking how our fears drastically change as we age.

Student loans scare me more than a clown that lives in a gutter. Ya feel?

So let's get real. I'm skipping the witches and warlocks and heading straight to the actual scary stuff. 

ADULTING.

halloween
halloween
halloween

★ Having an untraditional career

I have this conspiracy theory that corporate jobs are built on the concept of fear. Fear of the untraditional. We're told that we're supposed to have an office job and make a steady and stable salary. Office life not for you? But too afraid to quit for fear of the unknown, the unstable? Me freaking too. 

Just FYI though this is a fear I totally intend to conquer.

★ Giving birth

So I'm actually not afraid to have a kid. I've basically been mothering people since I was ten. That being said I'm raging afraid of giving birth. Mostly because I hear you sometimes poop yourself during childbirth. 

Hard pass.

 

halloween

★ Spiders

Yes we are going from childbirth to spiders. Lol. But spiders are freaking scary. Especially if they are the long hairy ones. 

Fun fact: I had a bunk bed as a kid and one night when I was like eight I climbed up to the top bunk to find a massive spider sitting in the dead center of my pillow. I literally check the bed every night before I get in to this day. #ScarredForLife.

★ Skin tags

I have a weird phobia of skin growths. I don't typically remember my dreams, but I do have this reoccurring nightmare that happens every few months. It usually starts out with me finding one skin tag and then another and then another - next thing I know I'm covered in giant warts.

Literally I've never had a wart in my life. Don't ask me to explain this fear.

★ Politics

Do I really even have to elaborate here? I'm basically concerned a nuclear war is about to break out any minute. I'm not dramatic at all.

★ Trying on clothes that don't fit

The older you get, the riskier it is to try on clothes you haven't worn in a few months. Lolz. You just really never know what's still going to fit. 

halloween
halloween

★ Awkward social encounters

I'm very awkward in real life. Sometimes I sit around and think about awkward social encounters I've had (situations I have personally made awkward) and make myself all anxious just thinking about it.

Like why, why did you have to say that. 

★ Weird signs of aging 

Like facial hair. Can we just keep it real? I have a little blonde mustache and it's disgusting. I'm starting to consider shaving my face.

Is this what getting old is like? You start to prune and find hair in random places? 

★ Having regrets

More than anything - I want to regret nothing. I don't want to regret any day or any decision. I want to be able to look back on my life at any point and not wish I had made any decision any differently.

There's nothing scarier than thinking about the alternatives. So live each day to the fullest! And regret nothing.

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halloween

Do you have any adulating fears? Tell me in the comments below!