Okay. So. Thanksgiving is riiiight around the corner.
There's lots of good that comes with Thanksgiving. Like first and foremost being thankful. Also there's food. And we all know I'm allll about the food.
The crap side of Thanksgiving comes with awkward social interactions. And that definitely includes family.
I want to give a disclaimer that I love my family. I really do. But we all have that one awkward monkey in our family tree. You know who I'm talking about. It's like that one uncle that says your black nail polish is a sign of Satanism and makes you stare at the cross to see if your eyes burn.
I wish I was kidding.
So here are my tricks for avoiding (and surviving) those awkward as shit Thanksgiving conversation with those weird humans we call blood.
This one's a timeless classic. Whenever I don't want to hear something - I just pretend I didn't. Please don't tell me this isn't mature (because I'm well aware it totally isn't).
KB and I call this "giving a second chance." Lolz. For example he'll say something I thought was rude and I'll say, "pardon?" And he pauses and then rephrases.
Be forewarned - not everyone is into second chances. They'll say the exact same rude shit, just louder. And that's when I like to break out the "you know what, I just really can't hear you in here it's so loud" and will completely change the subject
Animals are way better than humans. Befriend the family dog or cat and just hang out with them all night.
Awkward convo got you uncomfortable? Excuse yourself to grab more food. It's Thanksgiving. No one will question this excuse.
You ever meet those people you have to psych yourself up to hang out with? It's almost like you have to give yourself a pep talk not to snap back when they say something stupid or offensive. I often have this issue - I can't keep my big mouth shut.
Unless it's stuffed with food, that is.
If you find yourself stuck in a conversation with someone who's spouting off garbage left and right, just cram your face full of food so you can't reply. Smile and nod, people. Smile and nod.
Someone's being an awko taco? If you can't beat em, join em. Except I'm all about joining them and beating them at their own game.
The top three things they told us in etiquette class never to discuss during events are money, religion, and politics. So basically just pick any one of those three and you're golden.
This one's courtesy of one of my BFFs.
Make up your own drinking game. Every time someone asks you when you're getting married or having kids, take a swig. The night will be over before you know it.
Let the countdown to Thanksgiving begin.
Pretty please hit me up in the comments with your tips on how to avoid and survive awk family gatherings. Trust me. I'm gonna need 'em.
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